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Rules for Flame Wars
These rules are issued in the spirit of clearing up some
preconceptions about the waging of flame wars. Flame wars do not
require profanity, as commonly misbelieved. The following list
demonstrates ways to undertake "clean" flame wars:
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- Accuse the other party of your worst faults.
- Insist that you are an avatar of the Truth and that the
other person is Falsehood incarnate, or at least "misled."
- Dwell on errors. Correct them in others at every
opportunity.
- Never apologize unequivocably. If forced to apologize,
justify yourself in a way that makes it sound like the other party was
responsible for your actions.
- Write in such a way that the other party looks stupid if
they don't respond.
- Try to be many things at once, so that you can deny
everything that is said about you.
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- Say the same thing over and over again.
- Always strive to get the last word.
- Never let a debate rest. Never allow the other party to
withdraw without making it clear that they have lost.
- Insist that you are misunderstood.
- If you can't find something to flame the person about, make
something up. Convince yourself that you see the "real" motives.
- Remember: Winning is everything.
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Helpful Tips
Never Miss Church, Pray Long and Loud and by all means
be a Deacon, Elder or Teacher
(Beware,
He See's You)
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